Build a Story-Driven Landing Page From a Raw Feature List

Marketing Academy · Field Work●Copywriting

CoreBuild the Asset· 50 minutes

Slack

Objective: Turn a plain feature list and a real customer-research quote into a complete four-part landing page draft, applying Hook, Struggle, Turn, and After State as four separate, deliberate moves.

You're a lifecycle copywriter at Slack launching a new async-huddle feature. Product handed you a feature list; the customer research team handed you one verbatim complaint. You have to write the actual landing page copy.

Write one sentence or short paragraph per framework part, in order, and never introduce the product before the Turn.

Before you start

What you'll need

Free path (everything below is enough to finish)

Google Docs

FreeDraft all four sections in sequence and share for review

Free, no account friction, comment threads work well for section-by-section feedback

The process

4 steps

Step 01 of 04

Hook: opening with a specific, relatable situation

The lesson's Hook stage opens with a specific, concrete situation, not a general claim, because specificity triggers recognition.

Raw research quote: 'Team of 12 remote workers, missed handoffs, using email for approvals, someone always finds out too late.' Write a one-sentence hook.

Google Docs— New Google Doc, top of the page draft, labeled HOOK

Procedure

Read the raw customer research quote provided
Extract the single most specific detail, not the general theme
Write one sentence naming a real moment, a day, a time, or a name

Sample output

Draft hook: "Every Friday at 4:58pm, Priya re-read the same email thread three times trying to remember who'd actually approved the release."

Healthy

The hook names a specific day, time, and person; a reader in that situation recognizes themselves immediately.

Unhealthy

"Struggling with team approvals?" — a general claim nobody pictures themselves inside.

What this means

A hook built from one real research quote will always out-recognize a hook built from a category.

So what do I do about it?

Symptom	Action	Effort
Hook reads like a category ('teams struggle with approvals')	Replace the category with the single specific research quote	5 min

YouYou can do this yourself, no engineering access required.

Step 02 of 04

Struggle: naming the real cost of the problem

The Struggle stage makes the problem real by naming its costs, time lost, embarrassment, money wasted, before the reader will move toward a solution.

What did missed handoffs actually cost this team? Name the cost, not the category of problem.

Google Docs— Same doc, section labeled STRUGGLE, directly below the hook

Procedure

List every cost implied by the research quote (time, trust, rework)
Pick the one cost that's most concrete and least abstract
Write 1-2 sentences naming that cost specifically

Sample output

Draft struggle: "By the time she found the right thread, the release had already shipped without QA sign-off. Twice that quarter."

Healthy

The struggle names a real, countable consequence (twice that quarter) instead of a vague feeling.

Unhealthy

"It's frustrating when approvals get missed" — names a feeling, not a cost.

What this means

A countable cost is what makes the reader feel the weight of the problem, a feeling alone does not.

So what do I do about it?

Symptom	Action	Effort
Struggle section only describes an emotion	Add one specific, countable consequence from the research quote	5 min

YouYou can do this yourself, no engineering access required.

Step 03 of 04

Turn: introducing the product as the mechanism of change

The Turn introduces the mechanism of change, the product appears as the tool that enables the protagonist's transformation, not as the hero.

How does the new async-huddle feature specifically solve the missed-handoff cost you just named? Introduce it as the mechanism, not the subject.

Google Docs— Same doc, section labeled TURN, directly below the struggle

Procedure

Name the exact mechanism the feature provides (a recorded async decision log)
Connect the mechanism directly to the specific cost named in the Struggle
Keep the reader, not the product, as the grammatical subject where possible

Sample output

Draft turn: "Then her team turned on async huddles. Every approval decision got a searchable, timestamped record no one had to hunt through email for."

Healthy

The product is introduced only after the struggle has built enough pressure, and it's framed as what the reader now has, not a features announcement.

Unhealthy

"Our new async huddles feature includes recording, transcripts, and searchable history" — a features list wearing a story's clothing.

What this means

The turn only lands if the struggle already made the reader want a way out; if the turn opens the copy, there was no struggle to resolve.

So what do I do about it?

Symptom	Action	Effort
Product is introduced with a features list instead of as a mechanism	Rewrite the turn to connect one mechanism to one named cost	5 min

YouYou can do this yourself, no engineering access required.

Step 04 of 04

After State: making the transformation concrete

The After State describes life after the transformation in concrete, specific terms, not "you will feel better" but a picture of a specific moment.

What does Priya's Friday at 4:58pm look like now? Write the after-state scene.

Google Docs— Same doc, section labeled AFTER STATE, closing the draft

Procedure

Return to the exact moment named in the hook
Describe what's different in that same moment now, in concrete terms
Avoid abstract relief words ("better," "easier"); name a specific action or object instead

Sample output

Draft after state: "Now Priya closes her laptop at 5pm on Fridays. The approval log is one search away, and nothing ships without a name attached to it."

Healthy

The after state returns to the same specific moment as the hook and shows a concrete, opposite detail.

Unhealthy

"Now approvals are easier and faster" — an abstract claim with nothing for the reader to picture.

What this means

Bookending the after state against the hook's exact moment is what makes the transformation feel earned instead of asserted.

So what do I do about it?

Symptom	Action	Effort
After state uses abstract relief words with no concrete detail	Rewrite it as the same moment from the hook, now resolved	5 min

YouYou can do this yourself, no engineering access required.

Final deliverable

A complete story-driven landing page draft, headline plus four labeled sections (Hook, Struggle, Turn, After State), for the Slack async-huddles feature.

See a reference example

Sample output

PolicyBazaar renewal-reminder page (excerpt)

HOOK: "Rohan almost lost his car insurance grace period scrolling through five different apps seven minutes before the deadline."
STRUGGLE: "He'd missed a renewal once before. The claim from that accident took four extra months to settle because the policy had lapsed for two days."
TURN: "PolicyBazaar's single renewal dashboard now shows every policy, every due date, in one screen."
AFTER STATE: "Now Rohan gets one reminder, taps once, and gets back to his commute."

Success criteria

You're done when you can:

Each of the 4 sections maps to exactly one framework part in order, with no missing part
Hook and After State both contain a concrete, specific detail (a name, a time, or a number)
The product is introduced only in the Turn section, not before